What is marriage?

             Marriage, as defined by God, is a man leaving the care and comfort of his parents, and “cleaving unto his wife,” for both his care and comfort as well as hers. (Genesis 2:24). The Family: A Proclamation to the World states that “The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife.” Marriage is meant to be a unit designed for the care and the comfort of each spouse, but greater yet as an organized unit where children can be born and raised.  In his dissenting remarks in the decision to force states to allow same-sex marriage, Chief Justice Roberts states, “Marriage did not come about as a result of a political movement, discovery, disease, war, religious doctrine, or any other moving force of world history… It arose in the nature of things to meet a vital need: ensuring that children are conceived by a mother and father committed to raising them in the stable conditions of a lifelong relationship.” (Roberts, 2015)

 Marriage, as defined by our current world, has become blurred. Altering the definition does not change the facts. Marriage is a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully wedded. You can call, as they say, an apple an orange, but it will never be an orange it will always be an apple. The same holds true for marriage.

Having read the Supreme Court of the United States ruling in the Obergefell v. Hodges case this week it has sparked some interesting discussions at our dinner table. I believe it should spark discussions at more dinner tables. This isn’t something that only affects the older generation, but it has huge implications for the upcoming generations and they should be informed and ready to defend their freedoms. I may not be having a full-on discussion about the whole aspect of the issues at large, but I can talk about marriage, and how vital and fundamental it is to society. I can testify of motherhood and fatherhood and how one day they will enjoy those holy callings. I may not be able to change worldviews, but I can help my kiddos understand the issues of our day and how to protect our freedoms by small and simple acts that testify of the necessity of traditional marriage and its definition.

References

Obergefell v. Hodges, 576 U.S. (2015). Supreme Court of the United States.

D-I-V-O-R-C-E

When I hear of friend, family members, or acquaintances who are getting a divorce my initial thoughts are not directed to cast judgment. My initial thoughts are more like those I would have if I were to read an obituary.  The marriage of John and Jane Doe died on September, 22, 2017. Surviving are their 4 children, John Jr (12), Jenny (10), Joe (8), and Julie (6), their 4 parents, 8 siblings along with their 8 spouses & 18 nieces and nephews. This list would also include friends, coworkers, fellow church members, and others who are involved in the lives of John and Jane Doe.

Marriage affects so many people and so many lives. I mourn for the loss they all will feel and face, but the ones that tug at my heart strings are those little ones whose names and ages are listed in the marriage obituary. Their lives will forever be changed because this once living marriage has now died. In a talk given by Elder oaks on divorce he states, “We know that children raised in a single-parent home after divorce have a much higher risk for drug and alcohol abuse, sexual promiscuity, poor school performance, and various kinds of victimization.” (Oaks, 2007). This of course is not always the case, but it is the most common outcome for children whose parents divorced.

Marriage is not easy and it requires vast amounts of work and even greater amounts of self-reflection. Elder oaks also eloquently stated, “Most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance.” (Oaks, 2007). If we are struggling with any relationship, but most importantly with our marriage, we must first look inward. Of course, not all marriage problems are solved through self-reflection there are some valid and necessary reasons for divorcing a spouse. Specifically speaking from personal experience a little humility and self-reflection can go a long way in restoring happiness and harmony in a marriage.

My final thoughts are of hope and happiness. Marriages are not doomed to die, children are not without hope of recovery if they do. President Oaks also taught that, “All who have been through divorce know the pain and need the healing power and hope that come from the Atonement. That healing power and that hope are there for them and also for their children.” (Oaks, 2007). The atonement of Jesus Christ is real. Its power has influence in our own lives as well as in our marriage, and family’s members lives. We can find strength, hope, healing, and peace in any circumstance if we just open the way.

References

Oaks, D.H. (May 2007). Divorce. Ensign. Retrieved from

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2007/05/divorce?lang=eng