First Comes Friendship Then Comes Marriage.

            Marriage and friendship go hand in hand. Marriage is a lot easier to keep if friendship is strong. Once that friendship begins to fade it becomes harder to keep marriage afloat. I have found within my own marriage that when our friendship is strong and we are striving to maintain that bond of not only common curtesy, but also transparent honesty things are so much happier. We flirt more, we talk more, we address conflicts right away before they can turn into frustration and resentment. We don’t change the things we disagree over we just fail to be disagreeable to one another. We strive for an agree to disagree, but still care enough about each other to respect our differences.  I think sometimes we work harder to maintain our friendships than we do trying to maintain our marriage. When marriage is viewed as simply a contract until one of us gets bored or dies it loses the greatest aspect of marriage, true and abiding friendship. One of the greatest blessings of marriage is the constant love that comes along with a strong friendship. Someone to go through all the ups and downs of life. I can’t imagine having fun riding a roller coaster alone. The hills and valleys are so much more thrilling and enjoyable with someone to laugh and screech together with. Life is no different having a true friend by our side makes the ride so much more worth the cost.

            In his book Gottman states, “If you can accommodate each other’s “crazy” side and handle it with caring, affection and respect, your Marriage can thrive (Gottman, 2015 p. 16). I have found that the best of friends are just that, people who can see your specific kind of “crazy” and love you anyways. Marriage is no different if you have a deep friendship you can embrace each other’s quirks and uniqueness and almost find it down right adorable. When that friendship isn’t as strong or foundational those same quirks and uniqueness can become annoying and irritating. I am no expert on marriage or friendship, but I do know that my marriage is happier when I am being a good friend to my husband and striving to put each others happiness as a top priority like any good friend would.

References

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A

Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert. New York: Harmony Books.