When I hear of
friend, family members, or acquaintances who are getting a divorce my initial
thoughts are not directed to cast judgment. My initial thoughts are more like
those I would have if I were to read an obituary. The marriage of John and Jane Doe died on
September, 22, 2017. Surviving are their 4 children, John Jr (12), Jenny (10),
Joe (8), and Julie (6), their 4 parents, 8 siblings along with their 8 spouses
& 18 nieces and nephews. This list would also include friends, coworkers,
fellow church members, and others who are involved in the lives of John and
Jane Doe.
Marriage affects
so many people and so many lives. I mourn for the loss they all will feel and
face, but the ones that tug at my heart strings are those little ones whose
names and ages are listed in the marriage obituary. Their lives will forever be
changed because this once living marriage has now died. In a talk given by
Elder oaks on divorce he states, “We know that children raised in a
single-parent home after divorce have a much higher risk for drug and alcohol
abuse, sexual promiscuity, poor school performance, and various kinds of
victimization.” (Oaks, 2007). This of course is not always the case, but it is
the most common outcome for children whose parents divorced.
Marriage is not
easy and it requires vast amounts of work and even greater amounts of
self-reflection. Elder oaks also eloquently stated, “Most marriage problems,
the remedy is not divorce but repentance.” (Oaks, 2007). If we are struggling
with any relationship, but most importantly with our marriage, we must first
look inward. Of course, not all marriage problems are solved through
self-reflection there are some valid and necessary reasons for divorcing a
spouse. Specifically speaking from personal experience a little humility and
self-reflection can go a long way in restoring happiness and harmony in a marriage.
My final thoughts
are of hope and happiness. Marriages are not doomed to die, children are not
without hope of recovery if they do. President Oaks also taught that, “All who
have been through divorce know the pain and need the healing power and hope
that come from the Atonement. That healing power and that hope are there for
them and also for their children.” (Oaks, 2007). The atonement of Jesus Christ
is real. Its power has influence in our own lives as well as in our marriage,
and family’s members lives. We can find strength, hope, healing, and peace in
any circumstance if we just open the way.
References
Oaks, D.H. (May 2007).
Divorce. Ensign. Retrieved
from
No comments:
Post a Comment