Two Types of Debt

          

          As we wrap up this marriage class and finish the semester with some of the struggles of marriage being indebtedness, and extended family relationships. I thought about how those two struggles tie together. There are two types of debts in what we have been talking about this week. Spending unwisely, borrowing, using credit cards, and living outside our means all cause stress in marriage and bring us into the bondage of debt. We feel trapped by our circumstances and perpetuate the problem as we strive to undo what we have done to our finances. This can also relate to our relationships with our extended family especially when we are newly married. We need to communicate and set clear boundaries with our families so that we can give greatest priority to our new budding relationship. We need to not over extend our time, talents, and emotional connection with our families while avoiding the time and effort required to keep our marriage flourishing. Without careful thought and planning both our financial and marriage freedom can be brought down into bondage, the bondage of our circumstances. I know from personal experience how damaging it can be to marriage to put parents above spouse. It erodes trust, confidence, and adds unnecessary strain to marital relationships as well as relationships with extended family. It is wise counsel to set up and establish ourselves as a couple away from our parents and lean on one another for support and encouragement. Extended family relationships are important and can bring into our lives joy, peace, comfort, and occasional support. But couples first need to learn to lean on and rely on one another, they need to learn couple self-reliance through experiencing the ups and the downs together forming tighter bonds and mutual adoration. Those this may seem easy to accomplish on paper it is not so easy to accomplish with dynamic people who have had shared life experiences and expectations. It takes prayerful consideration of how to best meet the needs and demands of each individual relationship. Heavenly Father knows each and every one of us and wants nothing more than to see us grow and develop into the eternal families that we have the potential to become. He knows the needs and desires of all our hearts and will help us navigate these sometimes tricky relationships to help us have a loving and successful family life.

References

Harper, J. M. & Olsen, S. F. (2005). "Creating Healthy Ties With In-Laws and Extended Families." 

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